We could probably name off a million and one movies and TV shows depicting dinner as the perfect first date and the start of an epic romcom romance. Because of this, we’re almost trained as a society to think that dinner is a good first date idea. But is it?
Today, we’re going to look at the pros and cons of dinner as a first date, tell you what we think the right answer is, and share some alternative options so you can have an amazing first date.
In our opinion, dinner is rarely a good first date idea.
Bottom line upfront, dinner is not a good first date idea, except in a few specific circumstances. It’s our belief that there are so many better first date ideas that may defy what Hollywood has taught us, and do wonders when it comes to setting you up for relationship success.
Reasons Dinner Isn’t a Great First Date
Let’s look at the reasons we feel this way, and then talk about the caveats when we think dinner can be used as an effective first date.
It locks you in for a long time with someone you may quickly find you’re not compatible with.
Often, first dates are with people you don’t know or don’t know very well. It’s quite common on a first date to know within the first few minutes if there is a chance it’s going to work out or if it’s not going to be a good fit. If you choose a date idea like dinner and realize quickly it’s not a good fit, now you have to sit through an incredibly long meal that really is a waste of both of your time.
This is why dinner is much better suited for a second or third date and later. For first dates, opt for something less committal.
It can get expensive.
There is no guarantee a first date is going to work out. When it doesn’t, you are going to have to go on more first dates. In fact, you may have to go on a lot of first dates until you find someone you’re compatible with.
Dinner gets expensive. Instead, why not opt for a date that’s less expensive, so you can afford to go on more first dates giving you more runway to finding that special someone.
More interactive dates can cut through the awkwardness.
We firmly believe that the point of a first date is not to impress the other person. The point of a first date is to establish if there is compatibility or not between the two of you that warrants a second date.
That said, it’s okay to plan first dates that cut through the awkwardness and help things along. This ensures that a compatible match doesn’t get missed out on because the awkwardness was just a little too strong.
With dinner, it’s just you and them and your conversation. There is nothing you can lean on to help push through the quiet moments to support building a potential connection. When you do something a little more interactive, though, you have outside elements that can help the date through the lulls.
It’s not memorable.
At the end of the day, dinner is just eating some food. While it will still be memorable as your first date if it works out, there are probably better opportunities. Again, you’ll find that we opt for simpler dates for first dates, but ones that have the potential to be more memorable.
For example, going to a farmers market together or a local pinball hall are things more likely to be memorable than just eating some food. Again, the goal here isn’t to impress, but it’s okay to do something that has the potential to be more memorable if things go well.
The Specific Time When Dinner Could Be a Good First Date Idea
Now, there is one time when dinner could be a good option for your first date. If you are going out with someone who you’ve known for a long time, dinner becomes a potentially acceptable option.
Why? Well, you probably already have some idea of compatibility because you each know each other well. This means there probably won’t be that same level of awkwardness to worry about. Additionally, because you know there’s some compatibility, investing in the cost of dinner for the date isn’t as much of a risk.
This solves all of the reasons dinner isn’t a great first date we listed off, except for one. It still is probably not going to be that memorable. There are so many other date ideas you can do here that could start building memories. In fact, you can start to look at dates that are great for second dates or even dates that are good for relationships!
Ultimately, it’s up to you in this situation. We’d opt for a better idea, but dinner isn’t bad under these circumstances.