All you have to do is turn on the movie Titanic or The Notebook and just do what they do, right? We wish it was that easy sometimes. In fact, watching movies and TV shows to learn how to be romantic to your wife might actually do more harm than good, thanks to creating unreal expectations.
So, as a good spouse looking to make your wife feel special with some romance, what are you supposed to do? Today, that’s what we’re going to dig into. And we’re going to do it in a way that’s incredibly practical. We won’t share lofty theories or ideas that sound great but don’t easily translate into action.
Everything you read here will be something you can put into practice right away. Happy wife, happy life, right?
Let’s get into it!
Small, repeated actions will always out-romance big one-time gestures.
There are two concepts you need to understand when it comes to being romantic to your wife.
Number one – big, grandiose gestures may seem like the path forward, but they will never have the lasting impact of something simple that is repeated over and over again.
Number two – things like kindness, reliability, trust, listening, caring, and paying attention are all incredibly effective ways to be romantic to your wife. Yes, the typical flowers and chocolates can be a part of it, but a romance strategy rooted in being a great spouse is always best.
If you ask a woman what’s more romantic, getting flowers or a spouse that listens to her, she is always going to say the latter is the most romantic.
Here’s the takeaway. When you mix these two concepts together, it should start to become clear that being a great spouse with consistency is the single best way to build a foundation of romance in your marriage.
Here are some examples of small romantic gestures you can start today.
What does that look like practically? Well, the list of what makes you a great spouse is probably an endless one. That said, there are some good examples we can share to get you started today.
- Be home when you say you’ll be
- Follow through on the plans you make with her
- Remember the small things she asks for and actually do them
- Keep promises, even the tiny ones
- Notice what needs to be restocked and grab it without being asked
- Put your phone down when she’s talking
- Pay attention during conversations so you remember details later
- Handle something she mentioned stressing about without a reminder
- Show up on time for date nights and shared commitments
- Keep her preferences in mind when making decisions
- Tell her if you’re running late instead of letting her wonder
- Stick to routines you’ve agreed on together
- Put effort into your responsibilities so she doesn’t carry the load alone
- Respond when she texts instead of leaving her hanging
- Ask follow-up questions about things she talked about earlier
- Respect her boundaries and schedules consistently
- Be predictable in the ways that make her feel safe
- Remember anniversaries, appointments, and important dates
- Keep track of household needs instead of waiting to be told
- Speak kindly, even when you’re frustrated
Date night is the ultimate romance secret for your wife.
Hands-down, date night is the single greatest tool you have to be romantic to your wife. But before you go sprinkling rose pedals all across the floor, make sure you pay attention because this is one area of romance for your wife that TV and movies have done the most damage.
Are over-the-top romantic date nights great? Of course. Are they necessary? Absolutely not. A great date night doesn’t have to be over-the-top, it doesn’t have to be expensive, and it doesn’t even have to require leaving the house to be romantic.
What it does need, though, is intentionality, no distractions, and effort. If you show that you care enough to put together something special (even if it’s simple), and you put your phone away, and you put all your focus on your wife and your time together, it will be incredibly romantic no matter what you’re doing.
The secret weapon for date nights (and other romantic gestures).
Want help planning the most romantic date nights ever without having to come up with all the ideas yourself? You have got to get the LoveTrack app. It’s a 100% free app for couples that helps you plan unique date nights. Every date idea comes with step by step instructions, supplies lists, romantic playlists, and even tips to make it romantic.
It’s literally free, and the app also gives you a ton of other romantic ideas, anniversary reminders, and so much more.
If you want to know how to get romantic to your wife, getting the free LoveTrack app is the best first step.
The classics like flowers and chocolates are still romantic winners when used strategically.
While we’ve talked a lot about the ways to be romantic to your wife that often get overlooked, it’s important to reiterate that romance is not just one action or one type of action, but a collection of actions to build a strategy.
If you’re into sports, think of it like this. A great football team doesn’t put 100% of their effort into the passing game. That doesn’t create a winning strategy. They have to put effort into the run game, the defense, the special teams, etc. That’s how you win.
The point of the analogy is doing the things we talked about already sets a solid foundation (and can actually be enough on its own). However, a truly winning strategy also involves doing some of the stereotypical romantic things from time to time.
Now, there are two categories of these that are both effective. You have your classic bigger romantic gestures, and then you have your little cute ones. Our recommendation is to do one of the bigger ones a few times a year at a minimum up to about once a month at a maximum. For the smaller romantic gestures for your wife, these you can do more frequently if you’d like as they’re ‘smaller’ and also usually don’t cost anything to do.
Here are some examples of each.
Bigger romantic gestures for your wife
- Bringing home her favorite flowers
- Planning a surprise date night
- Booking a weekend getaway for the two of you
- Setting up a fancy at-home dinner with candles and music
- Buying her a thoughtful gift “just because”
- Arranging a couples massage or spa day
- Surprising her with tickets to a show she’s been wanting to see
- Planning a photo session for new couple photos
- Writing her a long, heartfelt letter
- Decorating a room with candles, photos, or memories you’ve shared
- Planning a full day based entirely on her preferences
- Setting up a romantic picnic at sunset
- Putting together a personalized gift box of things she loves
- Hiring a sitter so you can take her out without stress
- Coordinating with her friends or family for a surprise celebration
Smaller romantic gestures for your wife
- Putting an “I love you” note in her purse or lunch
- Warming up her car on cold mornings
- Making her coffee the way she likes it
- Sending a quick “thinking of you” text during the day
- Grabbing her favorite snack when you’re out
- Plugging in her phone at night so it’s charged
- Giving her a long hug when you walk in the door
- Setting out her vitamins or water
- Refilling her gas tank without mentioning it
- Noticing something she needs and handling it without being asked
- Leaving a blanket out for her on the couch
- Turning on her favorite playlist before she gets home
- Cleaning up the kitchen so she wakes up to a nice space
- Checking in on something she mentioned earlier in the week
- Putting a warm towel in the dryer before her shower
Again, if you want (or need) help remembering to do these things for your wife or want more ideas, the LoveTrack app we shared offers a ton of great suggestions on how to be more romantic on a daily basis.
“Romance starts at breakfast.” This is the key to being romantic to your wife.
The last thing we want to share when it comes to being romantic to your wife is that it’s something that needs to happen continuously. There’s a quote that says romance starts at breakfast. The idea behind this quote is that romance isn’t something you do right before you want something or just at night. It’s something you do all the time by being a great spouse.
It also drives home the point that the more stereotypical romantic things you do for your wife will land much better and be more impactful when the rest of your relationship is in good working order.