It’s never a great feeling when your relationship is struggling. And that feeling can get a lot more intense when it feels like he’s no longer “in it” and may have mentally and emotionally checked out. Knowing how to proceed in these situations starts with understanding how he’s feeling.
Today, we’re going to help lay out the biggest signs the relationship is over for him. We’ll share the signs, talk about what to look for, and how you can get a better idea of whether or not he’s willing to fight for the relationship like you want to.
A Cheesy (but true) Cliché Statement
Clichés are, yes, cliché…but sometimes, they’re true. In this case, “It ain’t over until it’s over,” is one that holds a lot of truth. Even if you see a lot of signs that it’s over for him or he’s mentally checked out, if you’re still together, there is most likely still some inkling of hope. It may be small and it may require a lot of work, but you really shouldn’t give up on the relationship until it’s actually over.
If the relationship is important to you, fight for it until the end.
We’ll share some upcoming articles that dive into how to fight for your relationship (while still protecting yourself), but we do want to share one resource today. The LoveTrack app is a relationship app for couples that can help you bring the spark back and work through the challenges you may be having.
And the best part? It’s 100% free, incredibly practical, and easy to use. It will help you do things like prioritize date night again (super important), reconnect with daily couples questions, learn to be more romantic, understand how to navigate conflict, and so much more.
It’s literally free and if you are seeing signs that the relationship may be over for him, you both need to get LoveTrack and give it a try.
How to Read These Signs
One last thing we want to share before we share our list of signs the relationship is over for him is a few things you need to understand to read these signs. Please, please, please make sure you read these tips and employ them so you don’t get a false positive or miss something important.
- Look for patterns, not one-off occurrences. – Depending on the sign, seeing it once could be all you need to know they’re mentally checked out. However, with a lot of these signs you’re actually looking for a pattern, not just one occurrence. We’ll clarify which are which, but for the most part, you really want to put more weight on patterns and much less on one-off occurrences.
- Look for multiple signs. – Much like the previous tip, one sign alone may not mean he’s over the relationship. The more signs you see, the more likely it is that he has mentally and emotionally moved on.
- Watch out for the self-fulfilling prophecy. – The self-fulfilling prophecy is the idea that when you’re looking for something, you can trick yourself mentally into seeing that it’s there, even when it’s not. For example, if you wake up and say, “I want to see how many bad drivers there are on the roads,” the chances are high you’re going to see WAY more bad drivers or find little things that normally wouldn’t stand out. Be aware of this, and don’t let it affect your analysis.
The Biggest Signs the Relationship is Over for Him
With all that said, let’s get into our list.
1. He tells you it’s over for him.
There’s another cliché that says something to the effect of “if someone shows you who they are, believe them.” While that may be more applicable to the other signs on this list, we wanted to adapt it to what he says.
If he tells you that he’s over it or that he’s checked out, believe him. This is probably the most trustable sign on the list that can stand alone as proof.
2. He stops saying things he used to like ‘I love you.’
If there are things he used to say like ‘I love you’ that just don’t get said anymore, that can be a subtle sign that he’s not in it anymore. The most important thing here is to make sure you’re comparing toward a baseline and looking for changes. If he never really said ‘I love you’, then that’s not really a sign things have changed.
3. Physical affection starts to dwindle.
Again, you’re looking for changes from the baseline (how things used to be) here. If there is a sudden or gradual drop in the level of physical affection, that can be a big relationship red flag that something isn’t right.
Additionally, if when you initiate physical affection there is no reciprocation (like you hug him and he just stands there) or even worse, he pulls away, that’s definitely a big sign the relationship may be over for him.
4. He stops making eye contact.
People find it hard to make eye contact when they’re uncomfortable or feel like they’re not being truthful. When someone is in a relationship that they know they don’t want to be in, these feelings are usually there. For a lot of people, it means they won’t be able to look you in the eyes because they know they’re hiding something.
5. He starts hiding things or being secretive.
Speaking of hiding things, if he starts being secretive about plans, people, and the future, that’s a huge indicator that the relationship may be over for him. This sign may be harder to see if he’s good at hiding things, so be on the lookout.
On that same note, remember to not force seeing things that aren’t actually there. If you don’t see him being secretive about things, don’t automatically assume there is something there. But if you see him hiding his phone or quickly closing browser tabs on his computer when you walk in the room, these are things to start looking out for.
6. He starts making plans for the future that used to include you, but don’t anymore.
It’s totally okay to have plans in the future that don’t include your significant other. However, if all of a sudden all of the future plans don’t include you, that’s a sign he may be planning for an exit from the relationship.
Again, use your head here to gauge what’s normal and what is not.
7. He starts making plans for the future and doesn’t proactively tell you about them.
On that same vein of future plans, if he starts making plans for the future and just doesn’t feel like it’s important to tell you about them, that’s a big sign things are not great. This may manifest as him being secretive, or it may just be that he doesn’t even think to take the time to tell you. The latter is more of what we’re talking about here, but both are signs to look out for.
8. He withdraws from shared activities you used to do together.
This is a big sign the relationship might be over for him. If he stops wanting to do things together that you used to, be on the lookout.
One really important note here is that you always want to make sure he’s not withdrawing for other reasons like mental health challenges.
Often, a person who is struggling may withdraw from everything (including their relationship). This doesn’t necessarily mean the relationship is over, but it could mean they need help or need you more. Make sure you take the time to try and tell the difference here.
9. He’s always on his phone around you (more than he used to be).
Phone use in relationships is already pretty bad these days. Couples even when they’re on date nights sometimes struggle to actually be present. That all said, if phone use around you is dramatically increasing, it may show a prioritization of other things and other people and not spending time with you.
10. He stops asking about how your day went.
When he stops caring about your day or things going on in your life, this can be a big sign that he’s mentally checked out. A more extreme version of this is when you ask how his day went, he answers (usually a short answer), and then doesn’t follow up to ask about yours. It can still be a sign without the latter, but we wanted to point that out.
11. He doesn’t care anymore about resolving arguments.
Think about this. If you know a relationship is ending, are you going to put in any work to try and resolve arguments? Probably not. You’ll probably just let them sit there because you know you won’t have to worry about them soon.
That’s the idea behind this sign the relationship is over for him.
12. You start getting one-word answers and conversation becomes hard.
Often, when the relationship is over in someone’s mind, it’s either hard for them to carry on conversations or they just don’t want to. Regardless of which it is, it manifests as one word answers and short replies that do nothing to further the conversation.
Again, make sure you’re looking for a pattern here across multiple days and multiple topics. They could just be having a bad day or there could be a particular topic they’re not comfortable discussing.
13. His response time on messages gets longer with no explanation.
Text messages can be telling, even if you live together. If his response times suddenly slow way down, that could be a sign that the relationship is over for him. Now, one thing you really need to be careful of here is if there is a reason for the slower response. For example, if work gets busier or he’s on a trip, etc. These are rational reasons that things might slow down.
14. He starts spending way more time away from you with no explanation.
This sign the relationship is over for him also does require a deeper look to see if there is an explanation. If he starts spending way more time away from you and doesn’t have a good reason, that can certainly be a red flag that things might be over for him.
If he has a good reason, then it’s probably okay.
Be aware, though, some guys will tell you what sounds like a good reason to be away, but it’s just to avoid the awkwardness of a conversation until they’re ready to end things.
15. He doesn’t notice when you’re upset.
When men are invested in the relationship, they pay attention to how you’re feeling. If this stops all of a sudden, that’s a big indicator of where his head and heart may be.
Do be careful here if your man has always been bad at this. While that in itself is not a great thing, it does make it less likely to be an indicator of him moving on in this context.
16. He doesn’t get jealous or protective over you anymore.
While we’re not saying that jealousy is necessarily a good thing, it can be used to determine if a guy has moved on in a relationship if it’s something he used to deal with but all of a sudden things don’t bother him. Yes, this could be him improving his ability to regulate his emotions, but in most cases we’d imagine it shows someone moving on.
17. He stops wearing his ring or anything symbolic of your relationship.
For married couples, this is a big sign that he might be over the relationship. For couples in a relationship where the symbol of the relationship may be something like a necklace or bracelet, it can still be important to notice. Again, if there is a rational reason (there aren’t many) that they stopped wearing it, that’s okay. Otherwise, red flag.
For those curious, an example of a rational reason might be if they put on some weight or are bloated and the ring doesn’t fit anymore or is very uncomfortable to wear.
18. He starts acting like he’s single in public.
This is another sign the relationship over that can stand on its own (with one caveat). If he’s acting single in public, that means one of two things. Either the relationship is over for him, or he’s just a terrible partner. Both of these are red flags and based on your unique situation will help you determine how to proceed.
Our take? You should never be acting like you’re single when you’re in a relationship. Period. Hard stop.
19. Your gut tells you the relationship is over for him.
Lastly, you have to give some credit to your gut. If you’re here reading this article, it probably means there are things not sitting well with you. If you’re able to back that gut feeling up with many of the signs we’ve shared on this list, that really becomes the cherry on top sealing the analysis.
Some Closing Words of Encouragement
To close, we want to remind you of what we said at the beginning. If you’re still in the relationship, that means that there may still be a chance to save things. That’s not 100%, but we’d encourage you to at least try, so that at the very least, you can exit the relationship knowing that you gave it your all.
And again, if you want a good next step, we’d encourage you to download the free LoveTrack app and encourage your partner to do so as well. Sometimes all you need is a little nudge in the right direction to spark things back on track.