Choices! One of the easiest ways to learn more about someone (especially someone you’re dating or married to) is to see the choices they make in certain situations. What we choose or don’t choose can be a reflection of our preferences, morales, ideals, and what we value.
If you’re here, you probably want to learn more about your partner with some this or that questions. This or that questions are the most basic form of choice that strips out all the extra variables and noise
The result? You get to learn so much about your partner that you can use in daily life or just to better understand them more.
A Few Guidelines for This or That Questions
Before we show you our list of this or that questions broken down by topic, there are a few things worth sharing to help you make the most of this experience.
- Don’t be afraid to ask why. – Knowing which option they’d choose is only part of the fun. Make sure you ask why they chose something, especially on the more surprising answers.
- It’s okay if you don’t have the same answers. – If your partner has a different answer to a this or that question than you do, that’s okay. You don’t have to be the identical same person with the same likes and dislikes to be compatible.
- Take turns! – The best way to do these questions is to take turns with who goes first. If you’re using them on a road trip, one person can still be the one who reads the question, but you can rotate on who answers first.
Want more couples questions?
Before we get started, if you’re interested in better conversations and connecting with your partner, this or that questions aren’t the only option you have. Make sure you check out our lists of couples questions and our list of would you rather questions!
This or That Questions by Topic
Food and Dining – This or That
- Pizza night or pasta night?
- Sweet or salty?
- Cook at home or dine out?
- Breakfast in bed or candlelit dinner?
- Tacos or burgers?
- Wine or cocktails?
- Spicy or mild?
- Chocolate dessert or fruit dessert?
- Food truck or fancy restaurant?
- Try something new or order the usual?
- Brunch or late-night snacks?
- Coffee or tea?
- Ice cream or cake?
- Appetizers or dessert?
- Home-cooked meal or takeout?
- Sushi or steak?
- Buffet or à la carte?
- Picnic or rooftop dining?
- Smoothies or milkshakes?
- Fried or grilled?
- Popcorn or candy at the movies?
- Cheese plate or charcuterie board?
- Garlic bread or dinner rolls?
Travel and Adventure – This or That
- Beach getaway or mountain retreat?
- Hotel or Airbnb?
- Road trip or flight?
- Plan ahead or be spontaneous?
- City escape or nature escape?
- Sunrise hike or sunset cruise?
- Travel abroad or explore locally?
- Pack light or pack options?
- Guided tour or self-exploration?
- Try the local food or stick to what you know?
- Weekend trip or full vacation?
- Camping or glamping?
- Ocean view or skyline view?
- Museum day or adventure park?
- Spa day or sightseeing?
- Winter trip or summer trip?
- Cruise or all-inclusive resort?
- Mountains or desert?
- Early riser or sleep in?
- Train ride or car ride?
- Travel with friends or just the two of you?
- Souvenirs or photos?
- Itinerary or go with the flow?
Home and Lifestyle – This or That
- Minimalist or cozy clutter?
- DIY projects or hire it out?
- Morning person or night owl?
- TV in bed or no screens?
- Board games or video games?
- Candles or essential oils?
- Blanket fort or bubble bath?
- Laundry day or dishes duty?
- Work from home or go to the office?
- Bookshelf or streaming queue?
- Dogs or cats?
- Decorate for every season or keep it simple?
- Meal prep or cook nightly?
- Garage sale or thrift store?
- Big backyard or rooftop deck?
- Neighbors or privacy?
- Homebody or always out and about?
- Fireplace or fairy lights?
- Binge-watch or one episode a night?
- Hardwood floors or carpet?
- Closet organizer or just toss it in?
- Shared chores or split by preference?
- Cozy couch or giant bed?
Entertainment and Fun – This or That
- Comedy or drama?
- Movie night or game night?
- Reality TV or documentaries?
- Concerts or theater?
- Action movie or romantic comedy?
- Reading together or watching something new?
- Karaoke or dancing?
- Puzzles or trivia games?
- YouTube or Netflix?
- Outdoor concert or indoor venue?
- Go out or stay in?
- DIY project or baking challenge?
- Talent show or board game battle?
- Classic movie or latest release?
- TikTok scroll or podcast chill?
- Arcade date or escape room?
- Music festival or film festival?
- Watch sports or play sports?
- Binge an old favorite or try a new series?
- Cozy movie marathon or themed date night?
- Popcorn or nachos?
- PlayStation or Nintendo?
- Surprise each other or plan together?
Childhood Favorites – This or That
- Cartoons or picture books?
- Playground or sandbox?
- Lego or puzzles?
- Hide and seek or tag?
- Favorite superhero or favorite princess?
- Saturday morning shows or after-school cartoons?
- Mac & cheese or peanut butter & jelly?
- Snow day or field trip?
- Bike ride or rollerblading?
- Stuffed animal or action figure?
- Coloring books or crafts?
- Lunchbox notes or surprise snacks?
- Swing set or jungle gym?
- Board games or card games?
- Treehouse or blanket fort?
- Ice cream truck or lemonade stand?
- Slumber party or birthday party?
- Field day or talent show?
- Treasure hunt or scavenger hunt?
- Favorite teacher or favorite subject?
- Recess or story time?
- Rain boots or flip-flops?
- Magic tricks or puppet shows?
Hobbies – This or That
- Painting or photography?
- Reading fiction or nonfiction?
- Cooking or baking?
- Gardening or journaling?
- Dancing or singing?
- Writing stories or writing lists?
- Birdwatching or stargazing?
- Crafts or DIY projects?
- Knitting or sewing?
- Listening to music or making music?
- Learning languages or learning instruments?
- Board games or crossword puzzles?
- Home decorating or home organizing?
- Watching sports or playing them?
- Scrapbooking or memory boxes?
- Blogging or vlogging?
- Building models or collecting items?
- Pottery or woodworking?
- Volunteering or mentoring?
- Trivia night or open mic night?
- Library visit or museum tour?
- Painting pottery or decorating cookies?
- Trying new hobbies or sticking to favorites?
Holidays – This or That
- Spring or fall?
- Halloween or Valentine’s Day?
- Pumpkin patch or Christmas lights?
- Snowman or sandcastle?
- New Year’s Eve or Fourth of July?
- Hot cocoa or apple cider?
- Build a snowman or jump in leaves?
- Gift-giving or receiving gifts?
- Fireworks or sparklers?
- Carve pumpkins or dye eggs?
- Watch the parade or go to a festival?
- Cozy sweaters or flip-flops?
- Decorate the house or decorate cookies?
- Holiday movies or holiday music?
- Write cards or wrap presents?
- Hayride or sleigh ride?
- Corn maze or gingerbread house?
- Bake pies or bake cookies?
- Stockings or Easter baskets?
- Beach day or snow day?
- Sunflower field or snowy forest?
- Host a party or attend a party?
- Countdown to midnight or countdown to Santa?
Personal Preferences – This or That
- Text or call?
- Sunrise or sunset?
- Books or movies?
- Early bird or night owl?
- Comedy or mystery?
- Notebook or planner?
- Coffee shop or ice cream shop?
- Sit by the window or sit in the aisle?
- Take notes or just remember?
- Mountains or ocean?
- Pen or pencil?
- Quiet time or group hangout?
- Flip-flops or sneakers?
- Hammock or rocking chair?
- Alarm clock or natural wake-up?
- Neon colors or pastels?
- Warm shower or cool breeze?
- Painted walls or wallpaper?
- Laptop or tablet?
- Picnic blanket or porch swing?
- Rainy day or sunny day?
- Drive or be the passenger?
- Online shopping or in-store browsing?
Learning – This or That
- Math or reading?
- Science fair or art show?
- Lunch break or recess?
- Spelling test or multiple choice?
- Backpack or messenger bag?
- Notebook or binder?
- School play or talent show?
- P.E. or music class?
- Field trip or class party?
- Homework or group project?
- Highlighters or sticky notes?
- Front row or back row?
- Library pass or hall pass?
- Favorite subject or favorite teacher?
- Paper airplane or origami?
- School bus or carpool?
- Silent reading or partner reading?
- Flashcards or practice quizzes?
- Class pet or classroom plant?
- Yearbook or autograph book?
- Locker decorations or lunchbox notes?
- Raise your hand or work quietly?
- Pencil pouch or backpack keychain?