There are words we use a lot that we know what they mean, but we don’t really know what they mean. One of these words in the area of love, dating, and marriage is romance. Many of us have a pretty good idea of what it means to be romantic, but when you ask us to give you examples or talk about the right way to be romantic, it gets a lot harder.
Today, we want to answer the question of what is romance, give you some actual examples, and talk about some things that are often mistaken as romance. By the end of this, you’ll not only understand what it means to be romantic, but you’ll have a good idea of how to effectively use that knowledge for the good of your relationship.
Why the Dictionary Definition Doesn’t Cut It
If you consult the dictionary, it will tell you that romance is “a feeling of excitement and mystery associated with love.” While this definition is sometimes true, it doesn’t do a great job of giving you the information you need to be more romantic.
If someone is secretive about who they are and not open about a lot of things, that certainly is mysterious and may even seem a little exciting. It certainly checks all the boxes of that definition. But is that really romantic? Not in our book.
Here’s What Romance Really Is – A More Practical Definition
Here’s what we think is a better definition of what romance is.
Romance is doing or saying things that bring out feelings of affection, desire, and imagination in a partner or someone you are amorously interested in. It’s the process of turning ordinary moments into special moments that build connection, attraction, and intrigue. The byproduct of romance are feelings of love, closeness, and excitement.
To us, that is a much better and more practical definition of what romance is.
Practical vs. “Movie” Romance
We do want to offer a bit of an extension and clarification to our definition of romance. Movies tend to make us think that acts of romance have to be over-the-top, grandiose, and expensive gestures. While these types of things can be romantic, they can be misleading and even borderline on manipulative, depending on the intentions behind them.
Real romance (as we call it) can be achieved through much simpler methods. Simple, thoughtful gestures like going out of your way to make someone feel comfortable, accepted and love…these things are romantic. As you look through the examples of what romance is that we’re about to share, realize how simple but intentional things can have a much more profound romantic outcome.
And before we do that, if you want more ideas about how to be romantic and want to make it easy, make sure you check out the free LoveTrack app for couples! It is filled with free features to help you be a more romantic partner.
Real Examples of Romance
Let’s look at some examples of real romance. We won’t be focusing on the big, over-the-top gestures here, but keep in mind that those can be classified as romantic. The goal of this article is not just to teach you the definition of romance, but to leave you better equipped to be romantic yourself.
Here are those examples.
- Leaving a handwritten note in your partner’s lunch or bag to surprise them later.
- Remembering small details (like how they take their coffee) and acting on them without being asked.
- Planning a quiet night in with their favorite meal and movie after they’ve had a stressful week.
- Doing a chore they usually handle, just so they can rest.
- Picking up something small that reminded you of them, like a book they mentioned or their favorite snack.
- Spontaneously suggesting a walk or stargazing, just to enjoy being together.
- Listening attentively and following up later on something they said mattered to them.
Things Often Mistaken as Romance
The next thing we want to look at (that is arguably more important) are things that are often mistaken as being romantic, but they’re not.
Not to rag on movies and TV too much, but they really don’t do much to help us understand what romance is. One thing they tend to do way too much is glorify things as romantic that aren’t really romantic at all.
Here are some things that are commonly mistaken.
- Expensive gifts without thought behind them
- Flashy social media posts declaring love, while not showing affection in private.
- Overly rehearsed or copy-paste lines instead of genuine words.
- Relying only on Valentine’s Day or anniversaries instead of showing affection year-round.
- Doing something “romantic” for credit or praise rather than out of genuine care.
- Grand gestures that ignore what the other person actually wants (surprising an introvert with a huge public display, for example).
Notice that the intent behind the action is really the determining factor in a lot of these examples. For example, getting someone an expensive gift can be romantic if you’re doing it because you love them and want to see them experience something special. However, when you do it because you feel like you have to or to get something out of it, the real romance is gone.